Our focus in this publication is women who exhibit the ability to inspire in a unique and lasting way.
What is it that motivates us to show up for our friends, our family members, our co-workers and yes, even complete strangers, in a way that inspires and encourages them to keep going strong and be all they can be?
In•spi•(e)r / Verb
- Fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
- To create (a feeling, especially a positive one) in a person.
- Give rise to.
Of course, the ability to be a kind and caring human being is a good starting point for inspiring others, but it takes more. Cultivating a generous spirit is essential to one’s ability to take the time and make the effort needed to choose action over inaction.
We have all heard stories about a teacher who was pivotal in a troubled young person’s life, a perfect stranger who took a moment to be kind to the clerk struggling through a difficult time, and the overloaded business owner who thanked the forgotten and invisible feeling senior citizen for being a valued customer and fellow human being.
What if we shared this ability to inspire, motivate, and value others with someone in our closest circle? Someone who may have forgotten just how much they do every day for others. Someone who needs permission to take a break and give themselves the safe space to enjoy what they have accomplished, albeit in the boardroom or the dining room of their own home.
How about a well-deserved dose of appreciation and inspiration for, you guessed it, yourself?
I know, I feel you blushing as you read the mere suggestion of taking a moment to recognize you are deserving, you are enough just as you are, and you are doing far more right than wrong!
Let me say it first then. “What a great inspiration I am to myself.” Now, it’s your turn. Take a deep breath and repeat after me, “I have the ability to inspire me, myself and I, and what’s more, I am worthy of living an inspired life each and every day.” All it takes is a bit of practice. I will offer to you that your best expression and opportunity for inspiring others will come from ability to inspire yourself.
As a veteran life coach, I have witnessed amazing transformations with the addition of just this one daily practice. A practice as simple as giving oneself the permission to become the full expression of who you are meant to be. In fact, the largest version of who you are meant to be is just what the world needs now.
We can learn a lot from very young children about self-soothing. They inherently know when they are scared or lonesome. After they have cried a bit, they instinctively and unapologetically call on the tools that work to satiate those uncomfortable feelings. They may cuddle with their blankie or suck on their thumb, but before you know it they are onto an activity that supports their desire to feel better and move through the uncomfortable and unfamiliar. We still have these tools in our toolbox, we have just forgotten that it’s okay to support ourselves in a personal and positive way. It’s not selfish and it certainly isn’t unusual.
Identifying your “go to” support system tools before you feel depleted will help you keep your emotional reserve tank full.
How would I self-soothe around these revelations? The most obvious need is a big dose of self-forgiveness.Forgiveness comes from that generous spirit I mentioned earlier. This simply means coming from a place of non-judgement toward others. Think of how easily our beloved four legged friends forgive us if we miss their afternoon walk. Show up with their leash the next day and all is forgiven. How generous and quick is that?
In closing, I verbalize to myself the words of loving kindness and forgiveness I so hunger for. Words like, “ You know better now Deb so let me surround you in love and forgiveness and let’s move past this.” I have learned that wallowing in anything is wasted time. Just as a child, my soothing skills are simple, swift and without an agenda.
Unconditional love, how very inspiring.
Learn to notice BEFORE you are completely depleted. What are your tell-tail signs?
Just as a quick reminder, jot them down on a 3×5 notecard for easy reference.
- Dull tension headache
- On the edge of tears
- Emotionally and physically pulling away
- Short tempered
Notice HEALTHY ways you can self-soothe when you feel alone and unappreciated. Rather than soothing with bad food choices, that extra glass of wine or credit card funded shopping, consider focusing on what is right with your world. Ideally, this valuable list is also on a 3×5 card kept handy in your wallet, on your mirror or on the dash of your SUV.
This list should be made on a day when a calm mind and clear thinking are working in your favor.
Article written by Debbie Nix and originally published in Focus on Artesia 2020 Spring edition.