In 2020, my daughter Allie was paralyzed at just 4 years old..
One day, after my daughter was airlifted to Houston to receive a higher level of care, my son Cole and I decided to walk to the zoo. I was still so shaky and weak from the sadness of finding out that she was not going to get better, but we stepped outside of the hotel and just started walking. We held hands all day and talked for the first time in months about something other than Allie’s injury. It was the first moment where I felt a tiny ray of the sunshine coming back into my life. We saw so many little girls there who looked just like Allie. It felt like a punch in the gut to see them run around and have fun while knowing the condition of our Allie girl. Cole saw a happy, little girl jump in a puddle and splash water on her shoes, and her mom got so mad at her for getting her shoes messy. We both looked at each other and laughed. Cole said, “Wow, that mom doesn’t get it.”
At that moment, I realized that before Allie’s accident, I might have been upset over messy, wet shoes. I had this good life before and didn’t even appreciate it. I was constantly stressed, missing these wonderful moments right in front of me.
Three years have passed between that day at the zoo and today. I can tell you that I am not only okay now, but I have a good life. Even though it’s broken and still very difficult, I have grown into a person that I never thought I could be because of the trials I’ve faced.
If you also find yourself in a season of painful growth, here are some ways to help you create space for the good in your own life:
Have something good to look forward to every day.
This could be anything from enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning before everyone wakes up to watching your favorite show at night. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but you need something every day to be excited about that is just for you. Even during my darkest days in the hospital with Allie, I would look forward to getting a cup of hot tea and walking down to the hospital chapel to escape the alarms for a minute or going outside to eat lunch under a tree by a pond. This anticipation of something good every day can help you through some tough times and build a daily habit of taking care of yourself.
Open your eyes to see the good in life.
While Allie was in a Houston hospital, we started finding ways to see even tiny moments that were funny or happy. This skill needed a lot of practice because it did not come naturally to me. I could only see the problems, fears, and struggles we were facing. My kids, however, started showing me that life was going to go on and that there would always be room for fun. When people see us out in public, they assume that we live a life of doom and gloom. How could a kid in a wheelchair be that happy, right? Then they see us laughing and the kids hiding to scare me in the aisles of the store, and I notice people smiling because Cole and Allie can make even a little moment a good moment.
Don’t live in tomorrow, live in today.
I know that my trials are not over. There are very difficult times ahead for our family. Psalm 107:1 tells us, “Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever.” God has carried me through every high and low in my life and His love has endured. He has inspired me to share our story on Instagram @deonnawadeart and on my podcast “Raising Disabled” so that others can see how God can take brokenness and make it beautiful. I am thankful that He has already walked every step that I will walk and will love me as I grow more into who He has created me to be.
Article written by Deonna Wade and originally published in Focus on Artesia 2024 Spring edition.
Deonna Wade
Deonna is from Artesia, New Mexico and now lives in Lubbock, Texas with her husband Dane, kids Cole and Allie, and their dog Zoe. She loves sharing her faith on her Instagram @deonnawadeart each week with "Devo with Deonna" and is the host of the Raising Disabled Podcast.
