The holidays are traditionally a time for family, but for many, the concept of "family" extends beyond biological ties.
Start with a shared meal.
One of the most intimate ways to connect with others is by sharing a meal. Invite friends, neighbors, or coworkers who might not have a family to go to during the holidays. The act of preparing and sharing food together can break down barriers and foster a sense of community. Whether it’s a potluck, a full-blown feast, or a simple gathering over hot cocoa and cookies, the shared experience of eating together can create lasting memories and deepen relationships.
Create new traditions.
Traditions are essential to any holiday celebration, and they do not have to be tied to your family of origin. Think about creating new holiday traditions with your chosen family centered around food. This could be anything from a themed cooking night where everyone brings a dish from a different country to a dessert competition where you all try to outdo each other with festive sweets. These traditions become rituals that strengthen bonds and create a unique sense of belonging.
Cook together.
The process of cooking together can be as enjoyable as the meal itself. Invite your chosen family members to help prepare holiday dishes. Cooking together can be a fun and collaborative experience that fosters communication and camaraderie. Try cooking something new or working together to perfect a classic recipe. The laughter, shared stories, and teamwork involved with preparing a meal can make the occasion feel even more special.
Share recipes and culinary tips.
Food is a great way to share personal stories and cultural heritage. Exchange recipes with your chosen family members, and use the opportunity to learn about each other’s backgrounds and traditions. Perhaps someone has a family recipe that has been passed down through generations, while another person has a creative twist on a holiday classic. One of my favorite things to share with friends from out of town is my favorite New Mexico staples—biscochitos, sopapillas, and green chile. (Red, too, of course. Christmas style for Christmas, anyone?) I’ve shared the official New Mexico state cookie recipe in this issue in case you have not made these yourself! I love adding chile to my traditional holiday foods—green chile rolls, green chile mashed potatoes, etc. Pretty much anything can be enhanced with some New Mexico spice. Sharing these culinary gems can help you understand and appreciate each other more deeply, enhancing the sense of connection.
Reflect and appreciate.
After the holiday festivities, take time to reflect on the experience. Share what you enjoyed about the time spent together and express gratitude for the moments and connections formed. Food often catalyzes these reflections, making it easier to articulate how much your chosen family means to you.
The holidays are a perfect opportunity to embrace the concept of a chosen family, and food is a powerful tool in this process. You can create and nurture relationships that bring joy and support throughout the year through shared meals, new traditions, collaborative cooking, and community service. By celebrating together with the heart and soul of food, you transform the holiday season into a time of genuine connection and belonging.
Photos by Mikayla DeHoyos Photography
Article written by Karey Jeffress and originally published in Focus on Carlsbad 2024 Fall edition.
Karey Jeffress
Karey Jeffress, a Carlsbad native, loves helping others live their lives to the fullest. Karey’s passions for teaching and healthcare background have inspired her career in education. She has a Master’s in Public Health Promotion, and is working toward a Doctorate in Health Professions Education. Karey is the Allied Health Teacher at Carlsbad High School, a certified Mental Health First Aid and QPR Gatekeeper instructor, yoga teacher, mental health advocate, and community outreach professional. Her other loves include her husband, Dale, and her dogs, as well as attending concerts and baseball games, playing outdoors, local brews, and good nachos.
